I remember the tears in my wife’s eyes when we found out that one of our closest friends, a person who had introduced us to each other, was dying from HIV. I also remember how foolish and hard-hearted I had been towards him since the first day he shared with me that he was gay. This was a guy who I grew up with. We meet each other in our church’s youth ministry, hung out together, we even went to Florida during spring break in high school for our senior trip. Now, at only 27 years old he was dying from HIV.
I didn’t have a clue on what to say, how to pray or even how to interact with him. So many times I picked up the phone to dial his number and my pride, or fears, got in the way and prevented me from reaching out. I finally mustered up the courage to go and see him when I got a call from his mom telling me that he was in the hospital. The sad thing is that by the time I arrived, he was so weak and medicated that he couldn’t talk. All I could say was “I’m sorry!” The most difficult and convicting part of the whole experience was being asked by his family to preach the eulogy at my friends funeral. I felt like a hypocrite. Here, for the past 5 years, I had shunned him, and did everything I could to demonize him in my mind and now I must eulogize him. I stood up to speak and I broke. The tears of personal shame over my inability to show Christian love to a brother in Christ who had fallen into homosexuality overwhelmed my heart. Eventually, I found my composure and did the best I could to speak for the word of God to a room of friends, family members and some of his gay companions who were in attendance.
I have learned a lot since that difficult experience 4 years ago. A lot about my own phobias and insecurities and a lot more about God’s love and grace. For me, the topic of homosexuality in the church is more than just a hot button, stimulating and controversial issue. For me homosexuality in the church has a face and a name. He was my friend and I missed the chance to minister to him in the time when he needed it most.
I think there are two great mistakes that we as Christians make when it comes to dealing with homosexuals. First is the mistake of compromise. The Bible is very clear on the fact that homosexuality is a sin. Passages like Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:24-27, 1 Corinthians 1:6:9 and Jude 7 paint a very vivid and clear picture of the Bible’s undeniable condemnation of all sexual perversion, including homosexuality. We must proclaim the truth of God’s word and declare that homosexuality, like all other sexual sin is wrong. But, I believe the other mistake we often make is that fact that we lack compassion. We have failed in our love toward homosexuals by condemning the sinner along with the sin. The Bible is replete with passages that tells us that God loves sinners and backsliders and we all better thank the Lord that he does, because if he didn’t none of us would be saved.
So the question I would like to deal with over the next several weeks is how to we minister to homosexuals in a way that is both uncompromising but yet compassionate. Stay tuned.
